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I am worried about poor Murphy. He's still just wandering around howling, not really doing much else. I don't know what to do for him, I miss my little princess so much too, but I can't make her come back. I am still toying with the idea of getting another cat, but I need to watch the pennies now. Plus I don't know if he'd even like a new cat, I really do wish he could speak to me! He is eating tons, but putting no weight on. He doesn't sleep on the bed any more, and doesn't roam like he used to. Early days still I guess, I'll do my very best for him, no matter what.

Had a long chat with Rod's Mum this morning, she's unaware of what's going on. She wants to stay for a couple of weeks, and visit on Janice too. She can stay here, I know she'd always welcome me at the farm, and it's not as if she's completely unaware of the problems Rod's caused me before. And I like her anyways.

Had a fun and laughter-filled night. It reinforced me being me, and not half of a now-dead couple. But I still feel wary and completely out of place. This will pass, I know. But at least I am going out.

The relationship many people thought unique (including me) has failed. I know I'll need a lot of time to mourn and allow it to pass. Currently waving, not drowning, but still feeling unspeakably sad.  Even the garden hedgehog got killed today.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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