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May. 8th, 2016

I am soldiering on, but emotionally I am constantly being forced to wade through mud. It's pretty grim, to say the least, but I'll manage.

Mum is finally out of hospital, huzzah! She's at home, on strict orders to take it easy. I'm relieved beyond words. And my ankle, whilst still weak, is generally pretty walkable. I need to get my finger out and start doing strengthening exercises PDQ.

I spent all of Saturday weeding, and it almost broke me, everything hurt afterwards. And worse still, it doesn't even bloody show! Just to ice the cake, the lawns I mowed on Tuesday and Wednesday look like they've never been touched. The effing bindweed is on full alert and growing wherever it can, it's such a pest, and of course it always grows behind stuff. Grrrrr!

Rod brought so much stuff home over 2 days that I feel so despairing. A vaccum, a hamper, thermos flasks, bikes, 2 bags of stuff from a charity shop, a hedge trimmer, a lawnmower, some wallpaper, a strimmer, it just goes on and on. It's like the end bit of a game show where you win what you can remember, but none of it is needed. He has spent most of today clearing and Ebaying, but he fails to see how futile he is making things. And I'm really really upset about it all. I offered to help him clear stuff on the proviso that he stopped bringing more to the house. He has decided to just pile more and more in, therefore I shan't be helping. I can't. It's all too much now. I hate my house and I hate my life really. Who would want to live with all this? Combined with everything else, frankly, you're fucking welcome to it. Any mention of it he says is a "hissy fit" and he really has been very nasty today. He doesn't give a shit.

Today for me, was dealing with copious quantities of nastiness, mingled with lying out in the sun. An actual day of relaxation. The only worky thing I did daytime was read and critique Margo's final submission prior to her graduating with a degree. Very proud of her I must say. Other than that, sun reading and lemondade. Debbie came over in the afternoon, with a bottle of wine, and we had a grand time sat catching the rays n gossiping. Ended up in The Bull's Head with her dort. I'm thinking she had an empty tummy, as she got piddled quite quickly. We only had a couple of bottles between three people and over more than 2 hours! Rod is claiming I'm drunk, but having got the washing in, watered the garden, had a bath and washed my hair, sorted the dry cleaning out, parcelled up 2 Ebays, played 3 games of scrabble and written this, he's talking out of his arse again.

Got a longish work week coming up, especially Weds and Thurs, hey ho. And I feel ready to get back to the gym, even lightweight. Gonna ping Marie in a mo and rope her into something.


Call me Madam

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