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Feb. 15th, 2016

Friday, Rod v late back from Spain, thankfully he drove straight down to hospital in Kent and we saw Mum. She's in such a bad way, so fragile and weak and tiny. I don't want to write any more about this, I'll just cry. He was very tired, so plans for going out nixxed, I was happy to stay home anyway, and I was so grateful he took me :)


Saturday was super-dull. He pretended to tidy up, not a lot got done all day though, just went and picked up more bike stuff. Then had a MASSIVE go at me because I moved half a ton of Army stuff from the bathroom to the hallway outside so I could get in the bath. That wasn't right apparently, I was treating his stuff like shit by moving it 6 feet. And can you imagine, me, wanting a bath in my own bathroom, WHAT A FUCKING CHEEKY COW! How very dare she! Anyway, I moved the bike to one side - yes, there's a bike in the bathroom, as well as one in the dining room and 30+ outside. And then Hoarders was on TV, and I watched again, all the excuses Rod makes about his hoarding, and I feel I can't cope. We need proper help, but he won't have it.


Sunday started off well. Then the munch got cancelled an hour before it was due to start, which caused a massive panic, with me having to do all the leg work. Re-booked for 6 of us at 4pm, and had to sit through Rod's atrocious, and I do mean atrocious manners. First of all he was regaling Alex (the others know how awful our house is, he doesn't) of how I buy things, wear them once and then sell them for a pittance, whereas he, the great entrepeneur, makes an absolute fortune. The reality is, I have sold 47 things so far this year on Ebay, and he's sold next to nothing. The crap he thinks is making him a fortune, is in fact piled up inside and outside the house. Classic hoarder behaviour. As is the lying. So, I pulled him up on that, and then he proceeds to tell everyone that I want to bin all his stuff. Again, classic hoarder behaviour, I don't and I haven't. What I would like is to get rid of all the rubbish inside and outside the house. I have asked for that for years and years and it doesn't happen.


I am guessing Rod is now realising what a bad idea a home party is, and that there's no way he can clear enough stuff in 3 weeks. That's how bad it is. The garden looks like a tip, it's horrible. I keep saying about a skip, he doesn't answer.

Really worried about Mum, cried my eyes out when I spoke to her last night - she's not used to that :(

Feeling very unsupported, very unloved and really dreading my birthday. Fucking dreading it, really. Should've booked the New York trip. Anyways, told him n Dawnie to go ahead with the home party, hey ho, I'll make the best of it. I'm sick of being asked what I want (it's SO rude) and then something else being done. What's the point??

Himself tells people I drink too much and post too much about him on Facebook. Cause and effect, but I've told him that how many times? Let me know if it's ever likely to sink in. Maybe if I could talk to him, and actually get through, this wouldn't happen. Judging from friends, I don't think I drink as much as many, and certainly post less than a few!

Let's just get Mum through this week, we need to be strong for her. And Dad, he's been such a trooper.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
sentience
Feb. 15th, 2016 11:30 am (UTC)
Since the hoarding affects you too, I think perhaps you're entitled to seek help to deal with it because it's your space as well as his. You know it's probably only going to get worse until you get a professional in to deal with it, for your own sake as well as his.
melly_snm
Feb. 15th, 2016 01:29 pm (UTC)
addiction
tis surely like any addiction, need to work out yourself there is an issue before the person admits there is an issue and tackle the problem.

Weirdly I know a lot of army/ex army people who hoard. Something to do with working so hard for stuff, not often having permanent bases, having some control over 'stuff' as don't have control over other stuff. Simon keeps hold of stuff as 'might need it one day'. Yes that adapter for the 1980's phone gonna come in super handy one day.. hmm! lol

Part of my control in life is to chuck, give away, give to charity, give friends stuff, I don't cope well with clutter. Probably cause moved a lot when younger so a lot of stuff just isn't practical. Simon can do what the hell he likes in the garage, fill his boots in fact I can shut the door. In the house I want it to be presentable in case anyone pops in! Also rooms have functions - bathrooms are for washing, pooing and relaxing, not manoeuvring round bikes! More stuff means its harder to clean round stuff. Must drive you insane and horrible that someone isn't seeing the real issue is upsetting their partner.. that should be the priority over a personal need/addiction/want! xxx

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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