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I should be in bed

but I ain't. I am burning up, I think it's the bloody mozzie bites. Multiple, lower calves, both sides, of course. Still, proof positive that somebody finds me tasty!

Gave the social a miss tonight, I feel really drained from Parma. It was a bit of a disaster really, he steadfastly refused to talk, although made several sexual passes at me. Sorry, no bluffing his way through this time, flattered as I was.  Can't talk in a restaurant, in case it gets heated he sez, but can take my sandal off and stick it on his boner. Uh huh. We were there for 3 days, in restaurants for 6 hours give or take, so plenty of time. His choice, his loss. I was hoping for.......expecting, more. But it wasn't to be, and that's that.

I did like Parma, it's a very historic and cultural town, full of wonderful old buildings, all of which were shut when we visited! We had a walk round for most of Saturday, and went back in for dinner. Sunday as there was only 1 bike left, he went out for the day and I stayed poolside, and had a 4 course free dins in the evening. Monday we both went out on the bikes during the day, which was lovely, although a mahoosive 39 degrees! I was wringing wet. And then had a row because he wanted to go back in to town on the bikes for dinner. I didn't as I'd already had 3 glasses of wine and didn't want to cycle, half pissed, on the wrong side of the road, in a strange city, in the dark, in immense heat. Which he couldn't understand at all. Hey ho, the meal was as quick as could be, and largely unpleasant, as was the walk home. But the food, my word, portions, arghhhh, so BIG. But delish :)

At home, there was a card waiting for me from his Mum, which was a bit odd, as it's his birthday. I burst into tears when I read it.

"I was so sorry to hear that you and Rod have been having problems. What on earth was he thinking? Why?!! I thought he seemed to be so happy and more settled. Perhaps all the travelling with work has caused this, but it is no excuse.

All I can say is stay strong, remember the good times and try to keep looking forward.
I hope that you will still come to see me in Dec. It will be something to look forward to. "

I thought that was so thoughtful, and I do hope to see her, she's a doughty, funny and lovely lady. I'll write back at the weekend. It's so strange though, we were on the phone to her a week ago, trying to be normal.

Been mulling things over. perhaps I was just there for a reason. To get him away from his god- awful marriage, which made him so very unhappy, and re-launch him. And my work is therefore done, my services no longer needed. Anyway, no talk of love, or a future or positivity. just moans about work, and his kids etc as far as this weekend was concerned. We are still speaking, there's a great deal to be sorted out.

I really wish people would give the dissing a rest. It isn't helping me one bit.

For the want of a nail, his kingdom was lost.

Busy day at the coal face tomorrow, must do sleepies.


Call me Madam

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