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So, in spite of boo's requests to go to the fet fair and Domina, I remained under self house arrest, and off the fags. Really found it very hard to get to sleep, and feeling pretty fucking awful today, but I've made it too day two!

I found a very old Nicolite in my desk, and have had a handful of pulls on that, and that's staved off some of the cravings. This time round, the Champix appears to be doing fuck all!  I honestly felt super-stressed and close to tears this morning. I have zero confidence in being able to do this, I have failed SO many times. I feel perfectly awful and I'm eating like a very hungry horse. Or hippo.

Rod wants to go out for drinks tonight after the theatre, and I've mad it clear I don't wish to be around bars or smokers. I may defer Shani for a week for the same reason.

I may not win, but I'll fight hard!

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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