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September 7th, 2019

Expect The Unexpected

Last night I ended up on a date. It was fun, I stuck to gin n slim, but didn't eat.

On my way home on the train, I read the usual sorry stories of why so-called slaves can't do what they've said they're going to do. And so being somewhat merry, went on to the Argos website and bloody well ordered a 66cm hedge trimmer, which was delivered at 10am this morning. Excellent service!

And I had a lie-in until 9am, magnifique! Ebay going ker-ching woke me up, my hard-work fairies brought me 4 new bids. No rest for the wicked though, I have more to list.

FB memories showed that 10 years ago, and 10kg heavier I was pleased as punch at doing the Adidas 5km run. Which I was at the time. Now I'm lighter, and much, much fitter, which I've done all by myself. This is a vein in which I fully intend to continue. I've also booked 2 pilates classes at the gym next week, although I suspect I'll have to cancel 1 as I have a lot on.

So today I have been slashing at things with this most excellent weapon! The garden is significantly better. I just need to mow now. So about an hour of graft left to to. I can barely feel my wrists, they've been vibrated so much! But all in a good cause.

I nipped out to do a surprise for somebody, mission completed. And I was so happy on the way back, I could barely keep upright on Brunhilde for laughing!

I've also found what could be a very interesting source for kimonos.

Two more slaves to come, let's see what transpires with them. However, tomorrow I really do want to go for a ride the new bike Rod got me, it's sat there looking at me hopefully for a week now!

Useless house slave managed to ejaculate before I'd even started the stopwatch. Who needs time saving devices, hahahaha! If he could do more than an hour on Saturdays, he might even become useful. But I doubt it!

Revelation

A few days ago, I finally applied to see my birth certificate, which I wasn't going to tell anybody about. I need to wait for an appointment to see a counsellor, by law, but I will find out who I am. And where I came from. This is actually very important to me. And absolutely no reflection on my parents, who are superb, better than I could wish for. I just need to know.

Chances are I am an unwanted pregnancy, maybe a teenager. All I have ever "known" is that I am from London and my name was Stephanie. I was adopted as a very young baby. My lovely parents have always been totally upfront about that,k mt bro is adopted too, from a different family. I had another brother before him, he was taken back. I still acutely remember that happening, although I can only have been 2.

I know for an absolute fact that all of this has affected my whole life. I have never once felt unaccepted by my parents, or unloved or unwanted. But I have never known who I am.

I have never taken both feet off the floor.

Rod, who is the love of my life, has proposed in spectacularly inept ways. Like saying I need to be a certain size, or agree to marry in a charity shop dress. I get where he's coming from, he just needs to fine tune his ideas a tad. So I never said yes. I have said yes to others, with not even the slightest intention of going through with it.

So I am at a very major milestone. I may not get any answers, other than what's on the paper. My birth mother may not wish to have me in her life, or aged 70+, may also be dead.

For sure I am not a Spanish Principessa. They tend not to be on AW or do the things I do.

So...............nature not nurture.

I have to give her thanks for my persistence, my solid belief in doing what's right. My honesty and integrity. My work ethic and ability to duck and dive. My sales acumen. My loyalty. My ability to get on with anybody in the room. My shiny. My smile, my eyes, my tits. My ability to turn on a sixpence. My empathy, my ability to deal with other people, languages, a love of history, curiosity and a cracking sense of humour. My sponge-like learning. My friends, compassion, generosity and kindness. A bloody marvellous constitution!


Maybe not so, my flamboyance, my hard-headedness, my red wine drinkingness, my fiery temper, complete inability to do maths, my daring, my confrontational attitude, my need to always better myself. My demanding of others to do better.

Absolutely not so, my hair, I hate it. Loving deeply has not served me well. My dodgy knees, my inability to say no to a good time, my love of bad boys, the forgiveness I dish out undeservedly. Technophobia.

I am sure of two things. Nix will be my long lost sister/daughter/friend. Always. ALWAYS. Rod, I don't know. We will never be separated, so my best friend in the world, or my husband. He's too uptight to let himself go, and has been all his life. I cannot envisage a life without either. They are my chosen people. I will find ways to love both better.

What I do know is it is now time for me to take both feet off the ground.

Having been sensible about such things my entire life, that's a scary proposition.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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