July 1st, 2019

If Wishes Were Fishes

Had a ghastly journey back, on a filthy, late train, with no wifi! However, a brill weekend, more of that later.

I was told that I should not have to suck things up and that I can still talk about things. So I tried that, after pointing the busy etc, and got told no chance. So I absolutely should suck things up, as I always have. Another cup of I'll be fine and I'll be alright for me. That's what people actually want. They don't genuinely want intimate conversations, not real ones.

Tell the people what they want to hear, it makes life easier for them.

I'll be fine.

(no subject)

I'm actually so upset I'm shaking.

Today I have a new lady starting, and this evening I have an interesting house guest arriving. So into the breach once more dear friends, into the breach once more.

People Make Me Sick

So, Chris asks me if he can store some dungeon furniture in the garden until they set up. Absolutely no problem I say. No date or time agreed, but the concept is fine, always happy to help.

Sunday evening on the way home from Amsterdam, Rod messages me to say throne in garden. I say it’s Chris and Lorraine’s, I’m annoyed nobody said anything but I’m not unduly concerned. For reasons unknown, Rod takes it upon himself to move it in to the lounge. I’m horrified, why the very fuck would I want that plonked in my lounge???? Tell him to move it to the side garden. Meanwhile I am berating Chris for not bothering his tawdry arse to ASK if I was going to be home on the weekend (I wasn’t) and ask if it would be OK to bring the stuff round. Not a peep. Which I consider very fucking rude.

Get home, there’s a load of BDSM stuff in my lounge and a cage in the dining room. Rod didn’t put it there. Fucking Chris has let himself into my house, without my knowledge or consent, and dumped his dungeon shit wherever he wants to. There’s a cage in my dining room, and god knows how much shit in the lounge. Without asking. I am RAGING. What a massive numpty.

So people who make fakey noises about being available to talk to, and yet can’t spare me half an hour are really getting pushed to the bottom of the stupid pile. I have loads more male-instigated stupid to deal with. Apparently it’s OK to start a new person with nobody to train her. Whatever. It’s Ok to give people time off and expect me to cover whilst I’m on holiday? Whatever.
It’s probably not a good idea to invite a complete stranger to stay with me for a few days, but in all honesty, I doubt he’ll treat me as badly as my so-called friends. So I’m looking forward to welcoming him to my home tonight.