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January 28th, 2019

Jan. 28th, 2019

I don't even know where to start.

I tell somebody how upset I am, and they send me Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life. That was a great help, I felt so much better, instantly, it's like a miracle. Empathy and compassion at it's finest.

I've generously been told I am allowed to flirt and love others, by somebody who had zero compunction about doing just that during every relationship he's been in.

Apparently I'm flying. What that's made me realise is that it's very important that however wretched you feel inside, to present as if everything's wonderful, amazing and ensure that you make others feel good. Push all your distress, anxieties and fears down deep inside you, so they can eat your soul invisibly. Nobody wants to know. People only want to know you if you are happy and cheerful and out there doing fun stuff. Not too difficult, I'm great at pretending, so I'll do that. I won't be any trouble to anybody.

Lunch is cancelled, which is good, as I didn't want to schlep over to Brick Lane and Back again and then back into the City after work for Mark dins. Also didn't want to eat 2 large meals today either.

There's gonna be snow this week, which is a pain.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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