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January 24th, 2019

Jan. 24th, 2019

Tuesday, when a not-so-well behaved lover offered to leave, I let him. This is a complete sea change for me, usually I would ask him to stay and try to glue things back together, taking the blame for something that wasn't my fault.

In the event of that failing, I would usually send multiple messages, get very drunk and stay up all night, very upset. I did none of these, I had a nice mug of hot tea and went back to bed.

I didn't think about it at the time, but the leopard hasn't changed it's spots. I however, have. Without even thinking about it. And I'm very pleased with myself for having the internal mechanics to do that. Go me!

Date tonight, although plans have changed rapidly as the party event we were going to is cancelled.

Humbled

I have a Jewish friend, who pointed out that had the war turned out differently, he probably wouldn't be here. And that the last of the holocaust survivors in the UK are dead or dying now. He is planning on having, with permission, a camp number tattoo, from a survivor, to carry it on.

Another friend, whom I've been talking to a lot, with some really tough emotional problems, took my advice. Advice I would do well to follow myself. I am taking tonight's date to meet him, as I don't want to cancel either.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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