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January 23rd, 2019

A Day of Two Halves

Yesterday I was up at the crack of PRE dawn, to pickle radishes. Yup. Making at Katsu curry for my lover, and one needs one's radishes pickled it seems. And then I jumped on the boneshaker, and pedalled off. Lo, just as I turn out of our road, there's the moon. Full, glowing white, and looking like it was perched on top of the footbridge over the A10. Stunning!

The day was all the aces! Fabulous things discovered. A feel some more freebies n cheapies coming on! I had 20+ messages on POF and arranged 2 dates on Bumble, and scored a play party invite for a friend. Plus a rather marvellous win at work.

By the time I left work, it was sleeting heavily. I arrived home, freezing cold and very wet, having had to cycle through it, and minus a bike light, which had decided to give up the ghost. But I dashed upstairs and warmed my frozen bones in the bath, and then carried on with my complicated cooking instructions. I am not the world's greatest chef, so I need to make up for that with effort.

Firstly I got told that if my meal was no good, then the guest would be turning right round and fucking straight off. Now, me, the wet. frozen cyclist, can't be held responsible for the weather or the traffic, I did my best to mitigate by making a lovely hot bubble bath, and changing the dinner timings.

Then I got reprimanded, in my own home, for speaking too loudly. At this point I understood lover man wasn't in a good mood, and so kept quiet, as you do. Although I was pretty upset.

He spent most of the next 2-3 hours on his smartphone, because he had "things to do". Then took a post midnight call from his girlfriend, which wasn't an emergency, even though he tried to make out it was, and followed that by trying to find ways of not going to work, and then texting until 12.30am.

Apparently, I was grumpy!!!!! After some discussion, during which he tried to blame me entirely, and stated that I can never accept when I'm in the wrong, I pushed until I got a very begrudging semi apology from him. But it's meaningless when people have to be told 3 times why their behaviour isn't acceptable, as they clearly think it is.

Now, I know that I am not responsible for other people's behaviour. Or he fact that the weather isn't good, or the fact that they allow themselves to be an unpaid 24/7 AA and Uber service, or the fact that their g/f checks up on them a lot, or their hearing, or their swearing, or their lack of self control or their inability to treat others decently. He offered to leave, I accepted. So I had a cup of tea, went to bed, and slept like a baby.

Moving forward, I have decided to stay exactly the same, and continue to be generous, giving, loving and hospitable, because I enjoy it and I enjoy doing things for others. I like having people in my home, but will be more wary of those who are disrespectful, ungracious, ungrateful and unappreciative.


Call me Madam

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