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January 1st, 2019

Cheerio, Adios, We're Done

I am sure people may look at my year and think "not so good".

Went on 8 trips, conquered work in unimaginable ways, got the homestead pretty sorted, lost weight, gymmed, cycled, got my brains fucked out, had loads of dates, had even more dates I didn't care to go on, danced, laughed, snogged, cooked. Lived.

It wasn't my favourite year. But we're done with 2018.

But in the most essential ways, the ones that keep me breathing, living and loving, nothing changed. And for now, that is a splendid thing. A very splendid thing.

Depending on where you are and who you are, 2019 will find me bigger and badder. Or invisible.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows and did it my way

There are precious few of you reading this, that can actually be "himself". A tiny minority who can be their real selves. You know you can be with me, because I've never been anything else. There is a value in being able to wake up as your real self, every day. To being not only accepted and loved, but welcomed.

Adios 2018 and bring it on 2019!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Are private this year.

But I have 2 wishes. The first is that my daughter finds herself a great job she loves. The second, is to not have anything painful or limiting happen to my bod!

As for the rest.......I'll either find a way. Or make one.

Jan. 1st, 2019

Yesterday I was humbled by several friends, thanking me for being their friend. A couple via private means and the rest in public places. Even thinking about it now makes me want to cry. One of the things on my mental to-do list, is to keep encouraging and supporting those special friends. Another is to make new friends, especially the going out variety.

I am having a big ponder over re-launching the pro domming again. I do enjoy it, and for sure it's gotten me into a lotta places, but it's hard without support.

I have given myself 2 physical challenges, both secret. However, until the ankle is mended, they are both firmly on the back burner. I would also dearly love to go to Italy again, and I'm looking at a small cycle tour, the kind where they take your stuff, you just pedal. And of course there's delicious food and wine. I would also like to return to either Oz or Cambodia. Absolutely blessed with a visit from Nix in mid May, and my Corfu week at the end of May - it's odd, the moment I type that, I visualise myself on my balcony, overlooking the blue, blue sea, with my vino cheapo and my books, planning my walks and costal swims. My early morning exercise laps of the pool. Gingerly climbing down the rickety old steps from the jetty, avoiding the big rocks, to swim in the sea. Who knew, several trips ago, that from heartbreak, I would find this little bit of (cheap) paradise!

Last night was amazing. Lots went on, but not one person picked up their phone ALL night. This is what happens when your host mixes a cocktail of guests, all of whom can hold witty and delightful conversation. Plentiful wine, bloody gorgeous food. I was sorry when my cab came, but an excellent night with lovely people, and I must remember to ask E for the details of the couple who moved to Bergerac. Vic was on form and actually made a Pavlova in front of my eyes. It was all great. But next year will be different.

Today I went for a bike ride. Not far and not fast, but it was a gorgeous day and I wanted to get out. I think I was a tad too hungover if I'm honest. When I got back home, I found the stuff I'd wanted to return to Next in the backpack I was carrying. Still, at least I didn't fall off.

Eating leftovers, pretty yummy.

The rainbow tree is packed away, so that's Crimbo and NY survived!


Call me Madam

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