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October 11th, 2018

Toxic




Ai ai ai, me too. No, not the hashtag.

My toxic is telling it like it is, late at night after I've been drinking. It's a very bad habit. As I've not been drinking much for the last 3 months, it hasn't happened, but last night I was out drinking, and it did. Rod of course. I've no idea what made me start thinking about all the great unfinished (and in some cases, unstarted) projects he had. Most are in the garden or still in his head somewhere. I love that he has all these ideas though. We were talking about his bike racing during the week, and he told me he hadn't done any, which was disappointing, cuz he's bloody good at it, and he inspired me to ride a bike. That aside, he's quite right, I should be texting etc at gone midnight with rubbish!

Last night was fun, although I mostly sat chatting with Dawnie and Phil having very bizarre conversations! I should circulate more, but I didn't feel like it. Plenty of men there, 80% at least in fact, but a little like my online dating, it's less than half-hearted. Although I am speaking telephonically to a great guy tonight. But he lives in Fulham. That's not so great.

Feeling very strange. Still very upset. Very. But hopeful for a better future. Fuck noes why!
I am a passionate, vigorous woman, and my romantic heart means I give of my all in a relationship. I seek a good man, one with whom I can share the wondrous adventure that will become our life. A person I can enjoy true intimacy with. Physically, I have no preference - attraction cannot be predefined. I look forward to still holding hands with my man when we're 90!

You will be beautiful of spirit, generous of nature, empathetic and above all, be capable of giving and receiving love. You may also have come to the conclusion you are not defined by what you own nor has your status real standing. Rather you are your emotional responses to people and circumstances. I certainly don't want to control nor rescue you, because my man will be self-aware that we together seek each other's happiness. If you want to take me in hand, be assured of my warm friendly response.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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