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August 4th, 2018

Happy Birthday

To the only man I've ever really loved, but took it upon himself to scalp me instead of love me.

Harsh. But them's the breaks.

Invited me out for dins tonight as current g/f is in Bournemouth. I declined.

I am no longer complicit.

And still, I rise.
Life is really hard at the moment. It's gorgeously sunny out there, but I feel as if I should lock myself away until I am over Rod, which in turn, feels like it's taking a million years. Do you ever really get over things at all?
Dressed for the BBQ, and I've just decided to do glittery festival eyes. No idea why, but it's summer!

Rod is incredibly angry with me. That's OK, he's made me incredibly angry many times, but he won't see it that way of course. I can hear foxxx giggling in the background as she describes his dramas. It's his birthday today, and I didn't want him to be on his own, but he won't come, because I somewhat scathingly pointed out that it's not a good thing to wait for your g/f to go away for the weekend and invite your ex out. That's after he'd let himself in without telling me, tidied up, fed the cats and changed a lightbulb. All of which I appreciate. But that's not really the done thing if you've decided to be in another relationship. I feel it's normal for him, but then I've known him and his ways for a very long time. I don't think she'd see it like that. He needs attention and stroking, and I knew full well he'd embark on another relationship quickly, because he has before. He needs that sense of being wanted and needed. I get that. So he shall have his distraction, with no distractions.

And I'll just see where the wind blows me.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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