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February 9th, 2018

It's How The Light Gets In

Is the title of the book I'm reading. Or not, as it has sat, folornly on the chest, unread this week. I've had so much on my mind, and so much to do. But it's a good book, and every book has it's day!

Tonight has been lit up by graft. I am slowly, slowly putting some rooms back together, post decorating (and re-decorating), although there's STILL more to do. I now have a Saffron sitting room (was Zesty, but no longer), a feather boa pink and duck egg blue dining room, a Hawaiian blue kitchen and last, but certainly not least, a parma violet hallway and stairs. Colour, not clutter. That too, let's the light get in. And for some extra Scooby points, the constant too-ing and fro-ing this evening, has, for the first time, made me hit my 10,000 steps.

Also lighting me up a little, my gym efforts. Two circuits on the weights, 3 x HIIT and 20 minutes on the bike won me a shiny gold medal today. It all hurts, but never mind!

More light from the Doctors. A very apologetic phone call from the practice manager, following my complaint. Would I like to come in today? Nope, too busy. I am available at 9 on Monday though. Yes Ms Mellon, I've booked that for you. This is primarily for my collar bone/arm issue, although I will probably bring up the plantar fasciitis in my left heel and the current right knee crunchiness, made immensely worse by the left foot. That's going to let the light come in as well, because I am going to go full beam on them! But again, why does everything to be such a battle. The people who aren't prepared to be as strident as me, just fall by the wayside, and that's not fair. I am seriously contemplating asking for my right knee to be replaced now. However, I don't have anyone who can care for me at home, so maybe not such a brill idea.

Tomorrow, more making housey nicey. Sunday I have friends over for lunch. Solid, sensible friends, to whom I do not have to prove anything, score points against or be anything but just me. And for that, I am very grateful. I am not terribly good at cooking, although I am slowly learning more. Sunday will be a traditional roast though, something I've done many times. The breaking of bread with friends is very important to me, and I will be attempting to lure as many people as I can here now, so watch out!

I have been gifted this week. Nix sent me a wonderful "As you wish" which is already in the freshly painted dining room. And my own jewellery, which I forgot to move into the right case, duhhhh. Greg gifted me with a pale lilac shade for the upstairs landing. Jay gifted me with a bottle of wine - sadly second one with a cracked neck, but it's the thought that counts! And friends have gifted me with love. That also lets the light in. As has empowerment. 100 years ago, SOME women got the vote in the UK. Some died, some had terrible acts of violence committed on them, some were force fed. But they persevered, so that I could have my say in Government and how the country is run. Law, education, free will, were all given to us by these brave women. In return, instead of brushing things under the carpet, and scurrying along, like nothing ever happened, I spoke out. It was difficult, but not impossible. I did the right thing. Possibly not for me, but for women. Time to stop the excuses and the victim shaming. Thank you DK and Sarah xx

Above notwithstanding, I do believe I am on the precipice of kink again. I can feel the stirring. I don't know what form it may take, or how long it will take. But there's an interest, which hasn't been there for a while now. Who knows!

A steady week next week. More housey, docs, dinner out and down to Kent on Saturday, it's my Mum's 78th birthday. In between, I shall try to keep my gym up, and dig into that book.

It's been so cold this week, I've been freezing. But it's been lighter each morning and each evening. Spring is coming, and she will bring some sunshine. My limbs and my heart will be warmed. I am so looking forward to it.

We are none of us perfect. Me included. This week I've been really upset. But now, not so much so.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen. Of course.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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