Call me Madam (maitressep) wrote,
Call me Madam


Good and bad!

So, I have been awake several times a night here. All except one night, which I managed to sleep though but still awoke pre-dawn. Stress and upset combined with jet lag and time zones do not great zzzzzzs make! To make matters worse (or better, depending on your POV), I have been having obscene sex dreams. Worse I guess as no man and no BOB to hand. And I started chatting to somebody a week or so before I went away. He's very interesting, articulate and funny. And good looking! And very involved in the sex scene. Predominantly swinging and GBs. I said I'd visited some swinging places with my ex, and wasn't impressed, especially with the low quality of people there - IE nobody I'd actually want touching me. It appears he knows much better places. So, fantasies may come realities after all, but early days yet. To worsen matters, I have been cut off from the site, because, I think, I am in Thailand, not the UK. So no outlet!

Last night I was wide awake at 2am and again at 5am. Eventually got up at 10.30. So I don't feel tired per se, just out of synch. Very.

I've just looked up the population of Bangkok, and I'm sure it can't be accurate. It feels much more crowded than London, but apparently not. There are hotels literally everywhere, ditto beauty salons, massage shops (legit) and lots of shopping malls and markets. It's one giant service industry. Also lots of big businesses, housed in skyscrapers.

Similarities to other South East Asian places I've visited, well, heat and food. Heavy reliance on tourism. Lovely people. You cross the road anywhere by just keeping going steadily and letting the traffic go around you. A grotty and unloveable backpackers district. And there it pretty much stops.

The tuk tuks are new, spacious and snazzy compared to elsewhere, good in one way, but taking away that whole feeling of dicing with death in another. They have English TV channels. On the whole, they are educated and well dressed. You don't see the grinding poverty so prevalent in other places. Virtually no begging or homelessness. It is very much the easy, sanitised option for Westerners, with high-end restaurants and spas everywhere. I like it, but wouldn't want to do 2 weeks here. Michael has somewhat amazingly been here for 10 years now. However, with a very big salary, a luxury condo paid for by his employers and his own driver, plus cute Thai boyf, what's not to like! But even he is feeling unsettled.

I am starting a new class in January, but I am torn between improving my French or Spanish, or starting Italian. Twofold really, I need to get back into the habit of learning and also, if I want to retire abroad at some point, I would like to be reasonably fluent in the local lingo. Plus of course, it's an opportunity to meet new folks. I am still feeling anti-social and reclusive. I know I go out a lot, but I make myself do that. Having a more defined sense of purpose isn't a bad thing. I know I've said it before, but I am actually gonna book :)
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