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It's a NO from me!!

So, had several chats with a seemingly very nice guy. 58, lives in Fulham, kinky, very well read and travelled, single, everything really. I already had tickets to Urban Voodoo Machine on Saturday, so I suggested we meet prior to that, and sent him the link. He loved the sound of them and said he'd be happy to come with us. All great, and we carried on chatting.

He had written a book, which he sent to me electronically, and I read, as he said it was mostly biographical. The lead character was a reformed alcoholic, so naturally, I asked. No, no, he said, he had had issues with booze in the past, but limited himself to 3 pints and was fine. Good stuff, I don't mind people who have issues and have tackled them.

I arrive, he's already there and fetches drinks. I glimpse a small bottle of spirits in his inside jacket pocket, alarm bells not ringing, but certainly swaying....First pint, and whatever I don't know about.

We chat. Mostly about him, he talks about him a lot. How intelligent he is, where he's been, what he's done. He tells me several times I'm bright, which I find very patronising. Second pint.

He starts banging on about gangsters (also in the book). His wide boy mockney accent starts to get worse. Third pint. Asks lots of questions about domming although he's claimed to be a switchy Dom. Tells me he's going to put me across his knee. Yeah right!

Salvation as the gang arrive, we all sit down together. Forth pint (remember, he said 3). He asks me if my Dad is a cunt. He slaps my arse 3 times, very uninvited. He goes for a pee 6 times, and we can hear his loud conversations in the toilets from where we're sitting. He interrupts a pool game by taking a cue and making a shot. The mockney deteriorates further. He asks me where my tits are. Swearing like a navvy. He wants another pint, we say no, time to move to the gig venue. He goes to the toilet. I tell the gang he'll catch up, and we leave, leaving him in the toilet. I haven't walked that quick in ages. I know he can't get in without me as it's sold out. Relief. Thank god I'd gone out as part of a crowd!

So, he's a piss head.

And the book is turgid tripe.

And I turned down a 6 week tour of Indochina with him, LMAO!

Luckily, UVM and Gypsys Hotel were excellent, had a bop, loved the alternative people there and spent good times with friends.

So an interesting evening. One I shan't be revisiting :)

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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