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Toxic




Ai ai ai, me too. No, not the hashtag.

My toxic is telling it like it is, late at night after I've been drinking. It's a very bad habit. As I've not been drinking much for the last 3 months, it hasn't happened, but last night I was out drinking, and it did. Rod of course. I've no idea what made me start thinking about all the great unfinished (and in some cases, unstarted) projects he had. Most are in the garden or still in his head somewhere. I love that he has all these ideas though. We were talking about his bike racing during the week, and he told me he hadn't done any, which was disappointing, cuz he's bloody good at it, and he inspired me to ride a bike. That aside, he's quite right, I should be texting etc at gone midnight with rubbish!

Last night was fun, although I mostly sat chatting with Dawnie and Phil having very bizarre conversations! I should circulate more, but I didn't feel like it. Plenty of men there, 80% at least in fact, but a little like my online dating, it's less than half-hearted. Although I am speaking telephonically to a great guy tonight. But he lives in Fulham. That's not so great.

Feeling very strange. Still very upset. Very. But hopeful for a better future. Fuck noes why!

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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