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Do Whatever Makes You Happy

Cheerful advice, and not wrong really. But in reality.......

I have to keep a roof over my head and I've got bills to pay, so no chance of doing whatever makes me happy for 5 days a week. For the other 2, and some evenings, once the chores are done, yup, there's some space there. But I still can't do what makes me happy. Because it's the same as what made me unhappy before. So you have to look for a new happy. And I do, a bit, and I've been successful at that. Except I'm not of course. Because I don't want these people. I suppose I can keep hoping for a diamond in the dirt or just someone to keep me distracted. But I'm not really like that. I'm not a user. I feel bad even being on dating sites under the circumstances.

I don't know what to do in all honesty.

At some point, I will stop loving and stop believing in The Little Prince and other fairy tales. At some point, I hope somebody kind, loving and patient comes along, who shares my values. And will maybe be able to slowly remove the barriers I've had to erect over the last few years. At some point, I hope to meet somebody who is happy to make me feel secure and loved. A pervy grey fox somewhere. And then I can let go, and live fully.

Until then, I have 2 wonderful cats :)

And don't feel sad for me. I loved and was loved, with a huge passion. Something many never get to experience. I don't regret a moment of it.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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