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Got up early, did some housework and washing, clean sheets on the bed, and then did 20km on my bike. I wasn't in the mood for a bigger ride, and still pretty tearful. It didn't cheer me up, but at least I exercised and did the things that needed doing. So I am functioning, and that's good.

The I invited Phil over for a late lunch. Cooked up a wonderful slow roast lamb with all the trimmings. He annoyed me by being here (even though I invited him). In fairness, he complimented me lots, brought 2 bottles over and did everything right. It's not him, it's me. There's nothing wrong with him, he's decent looking, has money, drives a Beamer, holidays a lot, is very chatty et al. But I have no interest, and it's not fair to carry on with people if you don't have good intentions. So another one bites the dust.

I just feel utterly lost. Bereft. And there's no point in typing any more, because I'll just get more upset.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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