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Hors de Combat

I listened, very carefully, as to why I should have saved for the plans he admitted he never made with me. I listened whilst I was told that getting your hair and nails done is a waste of money, whilst staring at thousands of pounds worth of his bikes, sitting beneath hundreds, if not thousands of pounds worth of his clothes. And I listened to his ill-informed judgement on my Uber usage. He took and Uber home on Saturday. The new lady is not one for the night bus I guess, I always did.

I listened to why it's my fault for reacting wrongly to repeatedly being cheated on, and why it's all my fault anyway, because he was obviously missing something in the relationship. So he just went out and shagged other people, instead of discussing it. I didn't mention that I had missed loyalty, integrity or decency. Or even a heartfelt apology. But still managed not to go out and cheat. Even when he was away for months at a time with the TA or work, I still didn't. I decorated our home instead. I had to admit, I do have the habit of exploding here or on FB when he's fucked me over yet again. I expect sitting in the kitchen sobbing like Janice is better for his public image. Sweep it under the carpet. That sort of thing.

I listened (and laughed I admit) to him telling me that I would only want to be in charge of his Ebay and Facebook if we got back together. Anybody who's concerned about what their partner sees them doing on another website, is doing things to be concerned about. And he always was. I would be prepared to trust him - until he starts saying things like that.

I listened to his protestations that his friends and mine would consider us mad to get back together. Very possibly, but I don't live my life for the approbation of friends. I am unafraid of opinion. My friends would accept my choices, regardless of their agreeing with them or not. They are strong individuals. I'm guessing the TA guys would be more judgey, I don't know. I just know he's afraid of other people's opinions. I need somebody who's willing to stand up for me, be proud of me and he's not, so I didn't feel this was worth mentioning.

I listened to him telling me I shouldn't say I deserve treats. This isn't a point to argue, it's purely a matter of opinion.

I listened to him letting me know I'm not subbie enough. I can point him towards two people who'd disagree. Of course he only does BDSM to get his cock sucked, as he's told me many times. For me, it's very different and very intimate. I need to trust that person, implicitly.

I didn't say a great deal throughout really. Although I have plenty to say. We've had these "talks" before, where he tells me what an awful person I am. I'm used to it. Being talked at like a stupid kid and blamed for his shortcomings is nothing new. Janice had the same too.

Then he had to listen whilst I informed him that we are no longer friends and he no longer has a part in my life. This, surprised him.

I then cooked the lovely roast belly of pork I had brought for him, and ate it myself.

They say you shouldn't make decisions when you're upset and angry. But to be honest, I've gone right off apple sauce and I don't think I'll be having it again.

He's been advised not to keep looking at my LJ and Facebook, as it upsets him so. Let's hope his new, shiney life is interesting and engaging enough to keep him away from my scribblings.

Oh and Rod, next time you try and run with the hare and hunt with the hounds, aka, keep a relationship with me going whilst chatting up and shagging other people, suck your tummy in when you get your photo taken ;)


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 23rd, 2018 02:11 am (UTC)
I love the title. I love you. And I've a district affinity for Rod as well. I 've mountains else to say, but I could write a book, i don't have time for book writing this week, and the words would be better in person. Or via phone. Damned time difference. Are you working everyday this week? If yes, let's book some phone time in on this coming weekend.
Jul. 23rd, 2018 09:08 am (UTC)
Yes, am working every day. So either early/late Saturday as out daytime, or anytime Sunday :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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