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Transience

I sometimes wish I'd been born in a small village, to a big family, so that I would have the connections that I sometimes feel I lack. I wasn't, I was born in a big village called London, no family that I know of, and a small adopted family. Then I look at big families, and their spite and in-fighting, and think argghhhhh, no. Plus the lack of privacy in a small village. You trade off don't you.

Pondering the transience of relationships at the moment. Nix has been one of my constants for quite a few years now. Not a sister, not a daughter, no. But not just a friend either. Somewhere, somehow, my brain is partially wired to be responsible for her. I can see that Tiff is doing a most excellent job. But I still watch.

I say just a friend. I don't have any just friends. I have a curious selection of people I can tolerate and can tolerate me. I know a lot of people, but they are not my friends.

Other acquaintances have passed through this year. They played a small, bit part in my life, and I wouldn't consider them a loss. I am at that intolerant stage with humans, I feel no sense of loss when I drop somebody due to bad behaviour.

My 'rents are in as fine a fettle as one can hope for at their ages, and my dort is good too. Rod is a constant, in his own special Rod way. And even my clients at work, are as good as hand picked, and have been with me for years.

In a way, I'm pretty content with all of this.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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