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6 foot 2 of ex Grenadier Guards and current Met Police. Tall, broad shouldered, good bod, soulful eyes, and a perfect gentleman. Picked me up, opened car doors, paid for dinner, brought me a treat. The sort of arms I would readily fall into.

Had a genuinely lovely night, non-stop banter and flirting, lots of laughs. Good fun. An absolute tonic. Just what I needed really.

But.......he's too nice for me. To subbie probably. I feel we are not sexually aligned. I am fat, fifty, feisty and fecund. I am juicily ripe and delicious. If anything, rather than shrinking away from things sexual and intimate, I am discovering that's exactly what I want. That, and a man who is my equal, not my subbie. A man who can hold his own with me. I don't care if they are dom, sub or nothing, the attitude is everything.

I think I'll phone Hungry House and order a large helping of Rod, with the irascible fun that was Douggie, with Jon's cock and the loyalty, steadfastness and honour that was Lee. A side order of Guy's supremely dominant, yet in a casual way, alpha, and a dollop of Juan's ability to be in the right place at the right time with the right people. No, I don't want fries with that, I much prefer spicy noodles, thank you.

I'm a little bit disappointed, but a good night for my first date in 11 years, and I'm proud of myself for going. It took a lot of braves, I can tell you.

My profile needs a re-think, it's far too throwaway and doesn't express me terribly well. But what am I? I am a complete conundrum in the fet world, and worse in 'nilla! Aiiiiiiii.

I was somewhat alarmed to be asked today should he turn off his profile - that was before we met. I said no. No harm in chatting to anybody and everybody, if the intent is harmless. I was a bit horrified when he offered me his passwords this evening. One, it's wayyyy too much on a first date, and two, he's a copper and doesn't credit me with the intelligence of being able to do it myself anyway??!! Plus he told me that he's been looking at my sites for 9 years. I should find that flattering, but I just find it weird.

Am I seeking the impossible? Am I too much for anybody? I don't know.

But onwards and upwards. I think this is going to be a very, very long haul. I am almost tempted to go on to 'nilla sites, but then I'll be explaining myself forever.

Bottomless prosecco brunch with the ladies to look forward to tomorrow. And I will send the loveliest Dear John before I go to bed. Ouch. But better to be honest.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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