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The observant will note that some posts here and elsewhere have gone to friends only. And yes, there is a good reason for that! MY reasons. I'm no longer pleasing anybody else. And it's rather satisfying.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I say it's lazy.

Slowly gliding away from the attention-seeking, the drama-llama-ing, the blamestorming, and heading towards a much, calmer and more inviting environment. Replacing being shouted at with being listened to. Being made to feel anxious and insecure with being more serene. Going from being disparaged to being appreciated. No more being projected on. I am shining my own light, and it's gone back to attracting the right sort of people. And thank you to those who've encouraged me and showed warmth and love.

Being able to go from day to day, under the cosh of worrying what bad thing is going to happen next, has been wonderful. And making myself more aware that shit doesn't just happen, somebody makes it happen.

I have a very, very long way to go. It's been hard, and hard times to come. But I will prevail.

My universe hasn't quite found me yet, but it's let me know it's looking.

The door is open.

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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