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Why No SGP

I nabbed a ticket as soon as they went on sale last year, and had no idea Rod had done the same, buying me one too, as it was post-Corfu, and yet another episode of bad behaviour, and we weren't communicating. In fact I only found out recently, sold mine, and was still planning on going, as he kinda talked me into it. I duly shopped for some fetivall-y bits, and thought I'd have a good time.

Then came the messages about a "lingerie party". I am 51 years of age, I really don't need to ponce around in my underwear for the benefit of wankers. Or indeed anyone at all. Next up was the hanging up of cuffs outside tents, and I thought to myself - hang on, with 20+ years on the scene, do I really need to be doing that? I took down my website years ago fer fukkks sake, and still they come! Then there's the drugs issue, haven't done that for 30 odd years. Don't mind at all if others partake, I drink alcohol, so why the hell not, but being in a large bunch who mostly wish to partake, who then stay up all night and consequently aren't able to do anything all day, isn't fun. I honestly am quite happy with my multitude of fetish outfits, my couture latex, and I don't feel the need to advertise anything. At all.

And of course, boo. His fingerprints are still on me, I can smell him even as I'm typing. I can describe his back and it's moles and freckles to a tee. I can tell you how his balls hang. And all of those things are very, very attractive to me. He will be in his element, showing off and flinging himself at people. I've no wish to partake in that either.

And the forecast rain. No fun in being in a tent in the rain.

So lots of issues to make me feel uncomfortable. He's gone, I haven't. Truly I hope he has a brilliant time, but this festival was not for me. I am hoping to do something else next year, maybe Wilderness, or something smaller, where I can be with a smaller bunch of friends and not have to showboat.

This is a perfect decision for ME. I've just returned from my second solo jaunt to Corfu this year, and already re-booked for next year. I don't think many people know me terribly well. They fondly imagine I need the bright lights and the parties all the time. Much as I enjoy them, I don't. Peace and solitude are welcome companions.

I did gym and haus-frauing tonight. I am really happy with the results from gym, 3.5% of fat converted into muscle in a very short period. No weight loss, but I haven't been dieting. But this gym regime is quick and simple, and I am actually enjoying it. Bonuses of increased bone density and less visceral fat are fabulous extras. Going again tomorrow with Marie, and she n John have invited me for dins afterwards. Fab.

In all probability, I will catch up with friends this weekend. Rod asked me if I had exciting plans, and I replied yes. Because for me, breaking the back on my Hospitality Management Diploma is exciting. It's all part of moving forward, instead of stagnating.

Happy with my choices.


Call me Madam

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