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Apr. 25th, 2018

8 years - Bursitis left hip - Cortisone injections.

7 years - inflamed discs in the spine. Treated with an op every 2-3 years to kill the nerve endings, and daily doses of anti-inflammatories and painkillers.

2 years - arthritis in both knees, the right knee is worse. Very painful at times. Cod liver oil and as above.

Plantar Fasciitis - really painful at the moment. Doing the physio and taking additional painkillers, but nothing is really working. Been going far longer than it usually does, is on my discuss list with the doc next week.

My eyes are a bit buggered, but glasses do the everyday stuff. Dark is a bit of a nightmare though.

"Something" with my shoulder, leading to my collar bone sticking out and limited arm movement. On the waiting list for injections for that.

TBA Hiatus Hernia, although doc now suspects that was a red herring, and possibly just a one-off episode of something gastro.

TBA - Underactive thyroid, as has shown up in the blood tests last week. I've googled, as you do, and I have pretty much all of the symptoms. I am struggling to lose weight even though I am eating and drinking considerably less than a couple of months ago. I'm tired, in spite of going to bed about an hour earlier than I ever used to. I feel cold. I have non-specific muscle aches, even now, when I haven't been to the gym for a week. Dry skin, although I moisturise like the devil. And depression, which I've felt for about a month now, but had attributed to other things going on in my life.

On the plus side, I've lost almost 2 stones now. And I am exercising very regularly. I am actively changing my own life for the better.

Really trying not to be negative or down. Holibobs in 3 weeks.

Apr. 24th, 2018

I'm an angsty cat-mamma at the moment. Murphy got his get-out-of-jail free card, no op. But the cone is still on, and he DESPISES it. It also means he can't use the catflap, and the vet said no going out anyway. Of course he's been out daily. I've just called him in, and he's already howling (and I mean HOWLING) to get back out. The risk is, if he goes out, he may get the cone caught on something, and he can't defend himself from other cats. It's kinda ok when I'm home, I can hear him, and I thought he couldn't get out the front, until of course he cheerily greeted me when I got home this evening - from the road :(

The sooner it comes off, the better. Fatso won't go near him, and he's just a very frustrated, strung-out Bengal Boy!

So two friends have distanced themselves. To the point of a non-existent friendship. Instead of commenting on this, or chasing their friendship, I shall remember the fun times we had together, with fondness, and silently wish them well on their chosen paths. Thanks for the good times x

Which means I have space for close friends. Partners in crime!

I'm feeling miles better, the sicky pills really work.

No plans this weekend, so may turf out my wardrobe for Ebay stuff and decide what to take to Marrakech at the same time :)

And buy some plants for the garden.

plan B

Plan A - Free 2 night stay in central London, with breakfast. Friday catch The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society film. Loved the book (thank you Margs). Saturday daytime, hair, nails and a schlep round Camden Market. Saturday night, out at my fave sleazy gay club. Sunday, a really quick whizz down Brick Lane, on the train to Mum's for a visit, then a night out with Kate.

Plan B - All of above cancelled due to me feeling ill and Murphy can't be left alone for a weekend. Them's the breaks.

So, what I did instead was order a new lawn mower and garden vac online from Tesco. And set about slowly, but surely doing the garden, first mow of the spring. I started mowing the lawn with the new mower. The grass box broke almost straight away, and then the whole thing stopped working 15 minutes later, pile of crap! I gave the Flymo another go, and luckily it started! So mowed the lawn and then it took me over an hour to rake it, as the grass was so long. It's all looking good now. The garden vac ceased to proceed after 10 minutes too! I will ask Rod to take a look at it.

Effing mower is going back to Tesco as soon as I can get it there, and I'm getting the small Flymo I had last time, I really liked that one. Anyway, in between reading breaks, of which there were plenty, I got it all done *beams*. And weeding n seeding n planting.

Meanwhile. Murphy isn't supposed to go out. Tell it to the hand, he's an outty boy, he won't stay in, the howling OMG!!!

Cries to go out, at 9am I relent.

By 10am he stuck on Alan's shed roof as the cone puts him off getting down.

Alan gets on a ladder and grabs him. Alan now has gashes down his leg, and Conehead escapes to the next garden.

I get our metal ladder and put it up against Alan's shed roof.

10.30 Conehead appears on Alan's conservatory roof, howling his head off. He can't get down. I coax him down, he climbs into the conservatory. I get my book and sit outside.

A few minutes later, the howling starts. I go in via the dining room door. He's stuck at the bottom, so I have to shift a load of stuff to get him out.

Lesson learned by us both, he's been out all weekend and hasn't done stupid stuff. He's also had errr, *most* of his mediation. The fox has had the rest. But he does let me clean his wound. I suppose I should be grateful! It is looking tons better. Insurance have OK'd the £1200 op, but I will resist him having it. Or rather Rod will.

I've read one and a half books. TV has been on once, at about 10.30 last night.

Played lotsa Scrabble.

Found a fab OOAK hat for Natasha's wedding. Adore it already. Not that it's arrived, but anyway.... Must start bullying Donna about a fwocky!

Had a lovely catch up on the phone with Lin, and the parentals.

Invited to a UK seaside brocante by Kate on May BH. I'm very tempted!

Sold 6 items on Ebay.

Done all the housework, nice fresh sheets for me to climb into tonight. Even did the windows!

Sat in the glorious sunshine, and got a bit of colour on my pallid body.



And so.......my weekend was nothing like the one I'd planned. But actually, very fulfilling. And a reminder that I am very happy with my own company, and perfectly able to occupy myself. I've worked, and I've relaxed. Very importantly, for me, I've had the sun. I've improved my environs.

My hiatus hernia pills have worked a treat.

I've stayed on target for weight loss. Although of course I've lost all my gym points.

Am sat here with a nice glass of Sicillian red, chilled, bathed, soft skinned and happy.
I slept through the whole night, and I'm feeling much better today. I've decided to tackle the gardening. It will be slow as I still feel weak, but the sun is shining and I'm in the mood for it. Gonna take it very slowly.

Fatso is scared of Murphy's cone, which means Murphy isn't getting groomed or affection, and doesn't understand why. He's such an unhappy catty :(

Insurance have said they'll pay for the op. Boo will take him to the vet on Monday to see what's what.

So my vintage chair money went on Murphy's ear. Whooooosh, just like that. I don't begrudge him a penny. He is my Bengal Boy and I'll look after him, always. I am hoping that he doesn't need an op next week. It's covered by insurance, but very risky, as he has a heart murmur. He's currently staggering around like a drunk, not having taken to the cone so well. I am also dreading 3 x drug time tomorrow. Oh well.


I've had 2 blood tests and been prescribed drugs. But I also have to stop taking my back pills. That'll be interesting. Results hopefully on Tuesday. I feel SO tired and weary. Been crying most of today, feeling that I can't cope with everything at once.

Boo has been a star. He took us to the vet and the doc and has been really lovely. I wanted him to stay, but he's got loads to do and away all weekend.

Can't be bothered to do much now. So weary.
Murphy has a gash on his ear, which is oozing pus. It's also inflamed and hard to the touch, as well as hot. I suspect it's infected, so we are going to the vet at 9.30. No doubt an expensive excursion, but you do what needs to be done for your adored pets. Rod is coming to take us, I'm so grateful I burst into tears last night.

I am awaiting an emergency call back from my Doc. After 3 days of very poor sleep and not being able to eat much, I am showing the symptoms of a hiatus hernia. I hope it's not that. But I feel sick literally all the time and I'm in a lot of discomfort.

All is not well at P Towers.
Feeling pretty ill. No idea what it is. I've felt really washed out for a couple of days, my stomach hurts and I feel sick. A virus probably. Murphy has wandered back with a scabby ear, which he won't let me look at :(

So Nix and Tiff have brought their second plot of land, and are waiting on the bank to ok their home loan! Exciting times again! They've managed that in 4 years. I have managed precisely nothing because I was with somebody who says he loves me but won't, in any way, commit to me. My mistake. I have increased my pension, but that's about it really. And I'm 52 with no love and no security. Pretty depressing really. I can't get those 11 years back again.

Really want to get stuck in to the gardening this weekend.

Lots on my mind and sleeping incredibly badly.

A Game of Two Halves

Saturday

Cooking on gas! Up early, gymmed, weighed in, went down to the canal and spent a lovely couple of cours on Sarah and Tony's houseboat, sipping freshly brewed coffee and chewing the fat. Met Psycho Steve the dive bombing, goose-hating swan, and fed the birds. Idyllic. Hair done, lashes done, pedalled home feeling happy. Boo came and checked my tyres, he reckons they're ok, so that's good. Bath, and off to Den n Erica's for some delicious food, a lot of gin and great conversation. An absolutely smashing day. Even got to bed at a semi reasonable time!

Sunday

This morning, met Martin at Cafe Chateau over Eggs Benedict. Had a good chat, and decided he wasn't for me. Wrong jeans, funny shaped head and a racist. Nice car (Merc) good job in the city, divorced, lives in Hertford, but I'm afraid he did nothing for me. We went to the vintage and antiques fair at Pickett's Lock, which was actually very good, but it left me feeling gloomy. He was nice to me, lots of compliments. But still.......

Just watched one of the older Escape to the Chateau programmes, and I'm envious of their lifestyle and their relationship. I want to have a plan and an ambition with somebody. I want somebody I can rely on, someone who has my back, and isn't doing things behind it.

And despite having no less than 6 lawn mowers, none of them work, so I couldn't mow the lawns, which hacked me off. It was dry enough, and I had both the time and the energy. Hey ho.

I'm feeling depressed.

Apr. 14th, 2018

Much achieved! A really good day.

Apr. 13th, 2018

A Government consultation found 94.5 per cent of the public favour a ban on wild animals in circuses etc. That means 94.5 of you have a heart. That cheers me up no end! There are still 2 travelling circuses in the UK, with performing (aka tortured) animals, but by 2020 they will be gone. Today would be better of course, but the law is a slow ass *shrug*. The UK's last remaining lion tamer has just been refused a license, huzzah!

The early night has done a lot of good. Still in pain, but feeling rested. I awoke at 6am, minus the alarm going off, had a 10 minute snuggle with Murphy, and was up and at 'em early. Rode my bike to the station for the first time this week. All good. I now feel ready and able to take on the gym tonight, Den and Erica's dinner party tomorrow night, and my date on Sunday. Who knows, I may even squeeze in a bit of much-needed housework and gardening.