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Black Tiger Sex Machine

There are lots of things I should be doing, the gardening, the housework and my studies being top of the list. But I'm not doing them, LOL.

I am basking in post-social, post-clubbing, post-coital happiness, albeit chilly happiness. It's allegedly 3 degrees, it feels a lot colder than that!

Last night was a lot of fun. A light supper and drive in to London. Rubbered up, my first time as a nun, and I felt sexy I must say. Over to Nic's, slowly, hadn't realised the skirt was so hobble. He had around 20 or so bods there for a pre ZDR drinks n pizza fest. Nobody we knew, so it was good to socialise with some new, interesting peeps, and eventually we Ubered off into the night with them.

ZDR was light on kit and play, but very friendly and sociable. The main event downstairs was the Black Tiger Sex Machine gig. And I have to say, it's really different when you're there. Watching them online doesn't really convey the lasers, pyrotechnics, deep bass or even the fun element of it. Electronica isn't my thang, but I went with the crowd and got stuck into it. And we were ver ver norty. Left at 4. Good, not clean fun :)

After breakfast in the hotel, I was supposedly going to Santi's for brunch en famille, but duhhhhhh, forgot about the cats. So had to go home. I just can't leave them. I know it's only 3-4 extra hours, but I am a worrying cat-mama! And if there was wine, maybe 6-7 extra hours. I know what I'm like when I'm socialising!

I could still get something done today, it's only 2.30, so there is hope...............But nahhhhh, the sofa and both cats are just 5 steps away from me. I can wrap up and think rudey thoughts :)

Deeeeee Lites.

After an anxious hour, anxious cuz I may not get paid, as per, all went absolutely splendidly. I won, but I think he may have thrown it, I am not noted for my golfing prowess. A surprisingly fun night out. And a bit sexy too.

Sunday may be a bloody good post-Saturday. I was thinking of doing the vintage thing in the East End, but then an invite came up to a warehouse party. It's a younger crowd, the performers, burlesquey cave dwelling, circus body mod people. More fun than raking through tat? Absolutely. And lo, a punk thing just down the road crops up. Helloooooo.

Let's hope I can retrieve my Amex!

Life is what you make it, innit :)

Going Down

Fat -5.1k

Muscle +2.7k

Water up 40% to 43%

​Degree of obesity down from 69.2% to 51.3%​

Visceral fat down from 12cc to 10cc (now in the healthy range)

BMI down from 37.8 to 33.4

Lost 13 kilos on my current journey.

Lots and lots more to do of course, but sometimes it's good to remind myself what I've managed to do, and what I can achieve.


Today I ate half of my lunch (a pizza I hadn't asked for, naughty Greg!), and when I went out for dinner, half of my starter, half of my main (a mere 5 chips in fact) and half a bottle of wine, no dessert. Had half the attention I deserved and did half of the report I should have. Had half of the leftover wine from the other night, and I'm going to bed half an hour early.

I think I actually looked quite good tonight, although sans a compliment, it's hard to be sure. Anyway, I did nothing by halves, except my eating!

This has been an eaty week, one way or another, I am hoping to have maintained my weight loss. Gym tomorrow, like it or not!


I woke up after a lie-in this morning, with the dangerous curves being felt and my soft skin being stroked. And went back to sleep until lunchtime! Purrylicious.

So, a month later I am still off the cigarettes, so well done me. Although the cravings still have not entirely gone! I am also back to my pre-holiday and Crimbo weight almost and I intend to get the rest off pretty damn quick! I am back to regular exercise too, even though it's horribly hard doing it after work when it's cold and dark. Last night I cheerfully accepted a bribe of dinner cooked for me in exchange for an hour's worth of gym.

I've started BSL, learning the finger spellings first. Enjoying that.

Lots of fun stuff planned for next week, dinner out, crazy golf and the Zara du Rose party.

Nothing to Talk About

I would like to talk about dreams and aspirations, future plans, what's happening with the planet, philosophies, about travels, the planets and stars and the enormity of being. I seem to be alone in this.

Here's a list of conversations others have had with me, and those I have overheard, at work, in the gym, on the train etc.

Marie Kondo (x3)

Price of rail travel

What's the best coffee maker

Is it pronounced Preemark or Prymark.

If there's a chance of an avalanche I'll ask the agent to change it for The Maldives

How much should I pay the cleaner (x2)

Don't let her chat shit to you.

My boyfriend came home drunk at 6am

Football (x8)

It goes on and on. Nobody wants proper conversations any more.

Lies, Lies and Damned Statistics

Yes, I watched the Brexit drama last night. Compelling viewing.

He gets lots of money, from bankers, hedge funders, insurers, property developers and their cohorts*, all of whom, of course pay their full and proper whack of personal and corporation taxes *snort*.

He asks the people what they want to hear. Ordinary Joe Bloggs people, the masses.

He then gets politicians to repeat it back to them, ensuring that the good bits are robotically emphasised and the not-so-great bits scarcely get a look in. And throws in a few completely untrue promises and statistics to reel us in further.

Stir in a few million quid's worth of very cynically targeted ads via social media, and away you go.

He wins. And then vanishes.

The group were left with a court case and a fine (most of them can pay that paltry sum without blinking) and still having won.

It's breathtakingly simple and utterly immoral.

It's a staggering example of how the digital age has sold us down the river, using our own habits and fears to manipulate us.

Money talks. If you are a large organisation or government, you can opt to tell people only what you want them to know. You can bias our opinions using incredibly simple techniques, combined with incredibly clever software. You can crush individuals and potentially bring down governments.

You might call somebody like him an adviser or communications specialist or media guru. Professional liar might be more on point.

Most people will believe what they are told, based on fondly imagining that the person doing the telling is imbued with the same amount of common decency as themselves. We look up to what we perceive to be authority figures. The Brexit fiasco and the lies openly propagated show us what mugs we've been. When I say we, I voted remain, and still firmly believe that was the right choice.

Effectively as end users, we pay companies to pay professional liars to paint black white and sell us a rainbow.

It's been both eye opening and eye watering, hasn't it.

* Rocco Forte gave £42k. Jesus man, why????? Your entire business, both in terms of suppliers and users depends on foreigners!
Plan A

Get up at 6, get to the gym, do 2-3 hours on the bike and 2 sets of circuits. Pick up a parcel from the sorting office. Full English in Spoons. Buy new bike brake light from Waltham Cross. Then do the garden table and chairs and pick up some leaves. Sort out some more Ebayness.

What actually happened wsa I woke up at 9.42, in pain and with a heavy head cold. A visitor had used up all the Lemsips and paracetamol, and I wasn't well enough to go out. So basically I laid on the sofa alllllll day watching Luther. At 2pm I had a bath as I was shivering so much. I cooked a chilli con carne for dinner, but forgot the tomatoes and kidney beans. So really I had spicy mince. Went to bed at 2am, where I didn't sleep at all.

Off to hospital this afternoon, not particularly optimistic, but hoping anyway.


Absolutely loved his farewell, full of memories, good and bad. I've now watched the "world" episode and the brilliant Scotland one. Despite not having lived there for a while, he wants to die there. For myself, I don't care where I die and I have no interest in where I'm buried or cremated. I suppose that comes from not coming from anywhere or belonging to anyone, or even putting roots down to be honest. But I'm glad for those that know where they'd wish to live out their end time.

He's very lucky to be able to travel where he wants for his memories, and get it paid for by a TV company, 99.99% of us will never benefit from that of course. There are numerous places I would love to revisit if given the opportunity and a limitless supply of cash. Oz, of course, so much more left to see. Cambodia. In America, loved Philly, NY, San Francisco and I have big ongoing plans to road or rail trip to the many places I haven't been to. All of the places I've been to in Italy, France, Spain, Belgium and The Netherlands I'd revisit at the drop of a hat, and many more besides. Probably not Vietnam, although Halong Bay.....St Petersburg in Russia is just fabulous. All of Morocco. Egypt and India. Let's be honest, I just love travel, but that's another post! However, it's gotta be a bargain!

Billy isn't afraid of death and nor am I. I've had a good life so far, and fully intend to continue with it for as long as I am mobile and my brain still functions. Billy is cursed with Parkinsons, and he's very open about what no longer works, he's extremely self-aware.


Despite feeling grim, did the food shopping and took 2 big bags full of clothes back to Next.

Blanket donated to charity, then 2 circuits of the gym and 2 hours on the bike/44km which is my personal best in terms of time and distance. I am going to ping Rod later for some improvement ideas I have. I need to get to 85km, which I CAN do, my legs are fine, the pixie letterbox is the issue. My ankle was a bit hurty, so came up with the idea of taking the pedal strap off, which was perfect.

Was going out tonight, but my presence isn't wanted, so instead I will read bit more American Gods, watch some of the TV stuff we've recorded and have a well-deserved bath and body scrub. It's bally cold anyway, and I need to budget this month, so I really don't mind!

I am going to attempt to get up early and do gym/bike again before going out. Fingers crossed I don't have another rough night, although it's not something I can control.

Rod is picking me up post-op on Monday, which is lovely of him. However I still have the massive issue of gas to contend with. I don't think I can undergo that op again without it. Last time was just gruesome. I am going to beg to be put to sleep, the first time was a doddle! It's making me quite stressy, but there's nothing I can do.