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I am home alone tonight, boo is on the lash in Hertford with a couple of mates, and he's kipping at the TA centre. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I am drinking his wine and buying dresses in the Collectif sale ;)

It's soooooo cold, and I'm really feeling it this year. I am not liking going out much! The lure of a warm home and no wearing multiple layers whilst skating about of icy surfaces appeals. But spring is on it's way. We've stuff sprouting in the garden already, albeit due to the unseasonably warm autumn/winter up til now.

Last weekend we went to Bristol, and enjoyed it. We were meant to meet up with Mel & Si, but he's been really unwell, and they wisely decided not to make it. That having been said, I am soooo taken with the city, I think we'll be back, so hopefully see them when the weather is more clement. I'd really love to see them both. Maybe Bath, we have an hotel there too :)

Got a freebie weekend via work, the hotel was great, near the centra, huge room with a chaise longe-thingy and a HUGE comfy bed. I'd treated us to 70 minute massages in their spa, and there was a pool, so we had a wee dip too. Breakfast was yummy scrummy, no complaints! Friday night, we made it down in just over 2 hours from home, pretty impressive huh! Straight out to The V Shed for dins and a few drinks, and they had a dance floor, so a boogie too, although I was wearing a roll neck sweater, it was roasting, but anyway, fun. And right on the waterside, lovely location.

Saturday, with no plans, we meandered around the town at whim, going where our noses took us, which was very enjoyable. It's an interesting city, with it's trading, pirate and architechtural history, and it's an amazing hotch-potch of pretty good new (and I don't do new) and wonderful old buildings. Plus the docks and waterways. And TONS of excellent street art. And a couple of good markets - saw some great silver jewellery and an amazing stall with all things ultra chilli. Really lots to see, and some pretty good shopping too. Restaurants and bars, you're spoiled for choice, honestly. I had pre-booked a place called Turtle Bay, which turned out to be a hot pick. Fab cocktails, a really buzzing atmosphere and PROPER Jamaican food! And very funny waiting staff. And then a couple of local bars, both former banks, in very grand surrounds. A good night :)

Heads up to the veggie cafe, Roll for the Soul. I suggested going in for a coffee cuz of it's community cycle base. It is clearly a communal hub, with lots of locals disappearing into the workshop, and loads going on. I opted for a coffee and a sit-down, Rod disappeared into the workshops, just to fix his sunnies apparently ;) Great looking food and lovely staff. And they do suspended coffees, which I thoroughly approve of. And purchased one.

Sunday morning we headed out to Clifton Suspension Bridge. Amazing view, and a nice little yomp around the hill walk surrounding the Bristol end. Absolutely spiffing.

This week I've slowed down my food and drink consumption. I really do need to drop weight and get some fitness back. I'm super-aware of that now. I just don't seem to be in the right place to dig in, but I will be, watch this space.

Last night we got very last-minute freebies to "Dirty Great Love Story" at The Arts Theatre in Soho. A rapid Italian meal in Sartori beforehand. I'd forgotten how much I ADORE veal involtine, mmmmmm. The show itself was rather brilliant. Two protagonsists, no props, but it worked marvellously. So much energy - and truth. Had an intersting chatette with himself outside, which left me in a happy place. Still lots to think about and work on together :)

Today has been a bit lazy, but when I chcked my app, I'd walked over 3 miles! I only went to the hairdressers, and then decided to wander around the local shops, which isn't much, but by the time I'd done that and hit M&S for some Thai dinner and walked home, voila! Every little helps, it doesn't all have to be the gym.

We've haus-fraued a tad today, and the boy has been over to do the kitchen and bathroom.

Tomorrow is another day........Brunch at Le Meridien in Piccadilly with Debs, unlimited Prosecco........
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30 kilo luggage allowance, may re-pack as I think I have too much, and far too many white t-shirts anyways!

Dins tonight with boo. Sad not to be spending Christmas together, but hey ho, it's been a fucking shit year. REALLY shit.

All that's left to do is get to the airport and enjoy India.


Really enjoyed it, hahaha!

You gets lots of freebies as a new member, and bearing in mind I got £25 of vouchers free from Freecycle, it was pretty much a free night out once I'd brought dinner. The staff were lovely, explained everything properly. What I think amazed us most was the bloody pace at which it's played, it's like lightning! But it is nerve-wracking fun! I lost £10 of winnings by not calling quickly enough, and boo won £32 on the slot machines, so all's good in the food :)

Not so good, him thinking it's perfectly fine to jump into a new relationship 2 weeks after a long term love finished very badly. He doesn't know the people concerned, but even imagining that would be Ok after 2 months' let alone 2 weeks, shows he needs more help on empathy, understanding and all that go with it. The human psyche is an amazing thing, but not to be abused. I'm hoping we can do some work together on that :)

Tonight, I shoud pack, as I'm leaving in 2 days. Still not in the holiday mood, but hoping I'll warm up to it!

Cats still not exactly loving each other, but Podge holding his own. He's a right pig with food though, he's on a diet in January! Such an affectionate thing, he did both our laps last night, it's like he's always been there. Murphy will calm down we hope.

"Let Nothing Ye Dismay"

The trudge to the end of 2016 continues, slowly and painfully. What an abysmal year this truly has been.

I had a free hotel room booked for Saturday, hoping that he n me could do something christmassy or partyfied in town this weekend, but after 3 nights out on the trot, he was hanging, so that got cancelled and we stayed in. Christmas has pretty much bypassed me altogether this year. No staff party, nothing with Rod, and the Ladies' was ruined. Ho ho ho!

So, on Saturday, we collected the chosen cat for Mum's christmas present, paid for him, popped him in the car, and along with a big box full of all the things a cat could ever need, headed off for Kent in very foggy conditions.

She said no straight away and wouldn't even touch him.

I can't begin to say how much this upset me, but never mind. It hasn't been my year. I stayed as long as I could force myself too, and Rod drove us all back, which was kind of him, he was really tired.

So, we now have a big, fat, white cat. He's sorta been named Podge, cuz that's what he is. He has a very very friendly temprament, purrs madly, loves attention, is a pig, and isn't scared of Murphy. Murphy is put out, there has been hissing and yeowling, but no actual fighting, which is good. Being careful to give them equal attention. So grateful Rod has taken to him, I know he really wanted a Bengal.

Sunday, I went and did the big pub lunch with the gang, he stayed home and did lotsa home tidying, and it has made a substantial difference :)

I really hope things change. I can't cope with living in such misery for muuch longer.


So book a cheapski £50 return flight, and a £60 5* hotels, and orf I jolly well go!

So, last weekend was spent in Warsaw. Flight on time, had brekkie in 'Spoons (I begrudge the overpriced ones in airports though!), arrived, walked out of the airport less than 10 mins later and was in Warsaw central an hour after that. Fab.

The Sofitel is on the edge of Old Town and New Town, perfectly located. Upgraded, due to my status, thanks you very much, easy check in with a wonderful man who spoke perfect English and helped me with all my tourist questions. Settled down in the bar with a glass of wine and my map and lots of great reccomendations from the concierge. BTW, he also took me outside and showed me where to walk for everything, such a fab guy.

After a short chillax, I headed off into Old Town, which is extremely pretty, and even more so with the Christmas lights. Absolutely lovely. It was mild, although there were large piles of snow all over the streets, as last week was cold. Took a lot of "lights" photos, until I came to a road block. Serious quantities of Police and Army there, and an ongoing protest. Circumnavigated that, and perchanced on the Christmas market, which was delightful, albeit seriously overpriced. Mooched that, and treated myself to some awesome Polish street food.

A few hours later, back at the hotel to warm up. Was planning to go out again, but at £8 for a meal in a 5* hotel, what's the point!

Had a wonderful nights' sleep on my kingsized, super-comfy bed, and got up pre-dawn to watch the sunrise and have another walk around, as rain was forecast at 10am. Came back at the appointed hour, and had a marvellous time in the stunning swimming pool, and steam room. Really wish in hindsight, that I had booked a massage too. Next time!

Check out (easy and simple) and headed back to the airport. Took advantage of my Priority Pass to use the empty lounge, where I quaffed plenty of wine and ate cheese n chocolates.

Off the plane like a flash, boo picked me up at Broxborne, and literally just over an hour after landing, was eating dins close to home

What a bally marvellous time, and all by myself.

What a Difference a Day Makes!

I have blisters, my ankles feel likely to snap, and my back is killing me. But soooooooo worth it!!!

Baozi – small Chinese place, tucked down a dark alley off Charing Cross Road. Bum shaped wooden stools, no wine, haphazard service. But the food! Aaaaaaah! If you are an afficionado of dumplings, which we are, and if you adore really spicy meaty noodles, with plenty of chilli, it’s heaven! So fresh and delicious.

Next stop, Simon Callow’s opening night of A Christmas Carol at The Arts Theatre. Now, I ve been here before, and I always think that this is the poor persons theatre. Not one of the grandilloquent West End jobbies, all velvet and gild. Just an honest, down-to-earth play house. He was magnifique! Narrating the tale, playing parts as he took us through the story, with just 7 chairs and 2 strings of fairy lights for props, and a very basic backdrop. He knows how to weave a tale, and suck you in to each character. Absolutely loved it, and he got several standing ovations.

On to The London Cocktail Club - STOLI SALTED KARAMEL VODKA, TIA MARIA, ALMOND MILK AND VANILLA SYRUP, GARNISHED WITH A RAFFAELLO PRALINE! Hell yes!!! More than once! Bartenders are fab here, really keep the party going, loved the setting the cocktails/ceiling trick alight and playing havoc with swinging the lights, it’s a very fun place to be. And cheesy dance musik, yayyyyyyyy! We loved our bump and grind, and it put us nicely in the mood for “later” ;)

Finished off with a lovey winter’s walk through London, across the bridge, through Southbank. Stopping en route to ohhh and ahhhh at the lights and decs, take in Amnesty’s refugee exhibition alongside the Thames, some brilliant photos and sad stories here, stopping for a wine-nic on the river, with stolen glasses and a bottle of plonk from Tesco. Loved it. But by this time, my boots, unsuitable for walking, were killing me, and my heavy coat, far too warm for 12 degree balmy London, was suffocating me. Boo was a gent and wore my coat and he also offered to wear by boots in exchange for his trainers, bless him.

Had a lovely room at Mercure London Bridge, which has been refurbished. I love the new doors, and the reception area is very funky in a Hoxton kinda way. I can’t get used to seated staff in polo shirts checking you in, but I think that’s me showing my age! The shower was marvellous, and the bed superbly comfy. So we stayed up too late, munching sweets and drinking wine. Breakfast in Marco’s was great. The biggest star of this show though, was the staff. Every single person said hello and cheerily wished me good morning, which starts your day off so well.


Dec. 8th, 2016

Gosh, well, full marks to Shani for unacceptably cunty behaviour last night.

Kicked off with telling Debs, who has been suffering from depression and is now coming out the other side, that she didn’t have depression, had no idea what depression was, and told her not to talk about it as she had no idea what she was talking about. All rudely and aggressively. She’s met Debs maybe 3 times, and has no idea what’s gone on, and is going on in her life.

Then being blatantly rude and stroppy with waiting staff. Culminating in the venue manager coming over asking if Diva was a Seeing Eye dog, as he'd had a lot of women trying to smuggle small dogs in in their bags. Straight away, she's down his throat saying he can't ask that, I interjected and explained she's an assistance dog and made a joke of her being too good for any bag, and he laughed and thanked me. Shani meanwhile, chuntered on about it, even after he'd walked off.

Outside, a very young and very polite girl asked if she could stroke Diva, and with face twisted with anger, snarled no and turned away. I explained that Diva had her assistance dog coat on and was working (not everybody knows this stuff) as politely as I could, and she smiled at me and shrugged.

Next, she was vicariously telling everybody at the table they were wrong about absolutely any subject that came up.

And for her finale, she was telling us that her mum used to allow her, aged 12, to go clubbing by herself in Soho. And that that was alright, because she’d given her £10 in her shoe to get home! Shock and astonishment all round. I commented generically that allowing pre-teens to go clubbing in London unaccompanied was bad parenting, all agreed, except Shani, who decided that I was slagging off her Mum, and then proceeded to tell me I was a worthless piece of shit, I’d abandoned my daughter, that my parents had brought my daughter up, that my parents were wrong for being stricter because I’d turned out badly, all with hatred, malice and a vicious, contorted face. To a gobsmacked audience. Lots of swearing and finger pointing.

I corrected her on being worthless, I’m actually pretty happy with myself, and her opinion is just that, her opinion. My dort has never been abandoned, her dad and I split up when she was 12, over a period of months, amicably, with me giving him the cash deposit for a new home, and him completely redecorating my new flat for me. And she’s never lived with my Mum, and I’ve no idea where she got that info from. But Shani just carried on and on, she couldn’t stop herself, completely out of control. Then had the cheek to tell me I was judgemental, after having loudly slagged off every aspect of my life, which I pointed out to her, and she didn’t like that. I got up, told her I thought she was appalling, walked off, and did the roulette tables with Debs and Dawnie, and left her to it. I’m amazed I remained so calm and polite!

It saddens me in a way, as I went to see Shani in hospital when she was first ill, and I was the only one who did. I have been the only one to regularly call and visit over the years, and I’m the one who tries to include her in on all the invites out. Nobody else has bothered really, although Donna is more in touch now. Now she’s the new personna non grata. She spoiled the evening with her performance, and she won’t be doing it again. What an absolutely hideous character she’s turned out to be. If that’s what being religious does for you, I’m bloody glad the rest of us aren’t!

The rest of the evening was fractured and subdued thanks to her. But on the plus side, we all went home early, which was a huge bonus for me, we have dinner, tix to Simon Callow’s opening night, plans for drinks with friends, and an hotel booked in London tonight, and I’m feeling fresh!. So every cloud and all that……….

I do sympathise with her, she’s had a very hard time, and is clearly in need of some help. But that doesn’t excuse the piss-poor behaviour. Lot’s of people, including more than 1 at our table, also are, not that they’re allowed to in her presence, she feels she has to play the trump card all the time.

I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I invited her. It's almost as if she was out to deliberately sabotage the night. Unbelievably toxic, not a good word to say about, or to anybody.

Having seen such a nasty side to her, I do now wonder if Vicky’s version of events wasn’t in fact true? Either way, time to draw a line under that friendship for sure!

Dec. 2nd, 2016

I feel like a bit of an "aftermath".

I used to be very ebullient, super-confident, outgoing, vivacious, sexy, sociable and pretty much "out there" and up for anything.

Now I am constantly tired, feel stressed, unsexy, semi-sociable, not sensual, not fetishy and anxious. I doubt myself and others. I am hedgy and afraid.

Rocket science, psychology or even a PVC nursey outfit not needed to work out why.

However, I am responsible for myself. Sure, it would be great if the person who caused the damage were to repair it. Of course. That would be an ideal situation. But he's battling his own demons, and they are worse than mine. Mine are temporary and situational.

Now I just have to find cunning ways of getting back to the old me. It may take some time, it took 10 years to alter me. But in time, although how much time, I don't know, I'll regain my mojo and be back in the game. Because I want to be in the game.

I refuse to be anybody's victim.
Well, the diet is going horrifically badly. Yesterday, a mere 2 plates of lamb pot roast, a slab of cake and some wine. Having said that, boo did THE most delicious slow roast, so it’s not really my fault……..

At this rate, my only hope is dysentry in India. True fact :(

Work has been bally marvellous, we are so full-on! Keeping a low profile socially, as last week was somewhat extravagant, and next week is looking to be a bit of a goer!

Taking iron and cod liver oil pills. Now I know I’m not even vaguely menopausal, something is making me tired, and no idea what. Our bed times have been better, although he had to do another 12-2am phone call last night. I’m still struggling to get to sleep though, poo.

I have the bestest, yet most difficult task to do on Saturday, boo will help. It’s a silly thing in the scheme of things, but I’m very squeeeeeeeeee and excited! I will prolly let the secret out, although I shouldn’t!

He’s finished his counselling block, although I think he really benefits from it and should carry on. It certainly has made him think things through a lot more. I need to make a decision with regards to couples counselling for January. I’m not sure how beneficial it’ll be at this stage. I think I need more time. can certainly see him being more helpful and considerate, so far so good. We are working better together.

Biggest downer this week has been commuting. Bloody atrocious!