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The whole moving on thing isn't happening, as he isn't moving on at all. No real packing done. I'm guessing that he's biding time and still waiting for it to blow over. He boasts to people that I'll usually calm down after 3 days. It's been more than 3 weeks now, I wonder what he's telling them this time? We are being very polite and helpful to each other, which is good, I don't want to live in a war zone, and wouldn't wish it on anybody else either. But it's really hard to move on myself, or even make plans, when he's still there, and making passes at me. I'd love a cuddle, I live for skin on skin, but with somebody who appreciated and adores me, not somebody who thinks it's ok to lie and cheat. I appreciate what he's doing for me, and even the flirting to a degree, but still no apology, still no amends, still no gesture or movement towards ensuring it doesn't happen again, Zilch. And all the time there's zilch, he's still leaving as far as I'm concerned.

I just would like to have a try at being happy and peaceful, but I don't seem to be having much luck. And it is all quite hard, I am waking up repeatedly all night, every night, and feeling exhausted most of the time. But chugging along as best I can.

The insurance company have agreed to pay for the accident, so I have a few squids. I had some ideas, but I'm not thinking straight at the moment, so when I get it, I'll just it on it a while, wait n see .Fave ideas at the moment are: 1. Get a car. 2. Buy birthday trip to Vietnam, non stop flights £560 return, non stop in March. 3. Buy new sofas. 4. Get eyes re-lensed, but that's v expensive!

Sunday I got a lot done. Emptied out 3 drawers of clothes and decided what's for Ebay and what's for chrity shops, and cracked on with both. Mission completed! Did a bit of gardening too, my reward being a mozzie bite on each calf, thanks so much!

Not going to plan a lot this week, as I think strikes will put an end to anything anyway!

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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