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I've had so many lovely messages from people, telling me how marevllous, fabulous, gorgeous, feisty, and in fact everything you could possibly want in a woman, and people have been really really kind. I'm overwhelmed. But I only really wanted to hear it from one person. You can't make somebody who doesn't care, care. Nor do I have any intentions of doing so. Perhaps, in time, he'll realise what a huge mistake he's made. But I don't think he has the emotional capacity to sort things out. If you can't apologise for something you know you've done wrong, there's little hope of anything else.

I'm in a huge void. My life, what I believed in, all the things I thought were true, were not.

It's sucked the life out of me.

Work offered me time off, but I'd rather battle through, it's what I do. Also seeing my slave tonight. I'm far too tired, but he's undrstanding.

People are so angry and want to know why he keeps doing this. I can only reply that it's what he does. I don't know what else to say *shrug*. I think D hit the nail on the head, he's like an alcoholic, he can't stop himself. Fair enough, but it's devastating keeping being on the receiving end of it. 

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maitressep
Call me Madam

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