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Indian Giver

a person who gives something and then demands it back.

Applies to love, assistance and cookers!

Not as ready as I would like to be for Oz. But as ready as I can be, and hoping for help manana.

Today was very hard at work, as will tomorrow be. But I will manage.

Let's see if tomorrow gets better, I live in eternal, if ill-founded optimism!!!
So, the calf is still very painful and I still can't walk.

That having been said, I had a very enjoyable night at the Army Ball last night! Just not all the dancing I would've usually done, and getting from anywhere to anywhere else was just slow and painful. Such is life! Again, lots of compliments on my dress, and Rod looked dashing, as he always does in dress uniform.

The All Saints Hotel is just outside Bury St Edmunds. If I were more mobile, I would've loved to have gone into town this morning, but alas, it was not to be. The rooms are spacious and well appointed, but they are noisy, you can hear everyone above you and in the hallways. Didn't bother me getting to sleep, but it did wake me up far earlier than I wanted to!

The restaurant is gorgeous, a perfect Sunday lunch venue methinks. The staff are on the ball and very charming. The food is of excellent quality, and well presented. However, ketchup in mini glass jars is ridiculous, pricey and wasteful on all fronts.

The event was really well executed with very professional staffing, the bar was well manned and constantly busy. It's always a bugbear with country house hotels, that they shut the bar when the event finishes, and here was no exception. A full hotel, 2 large events going on, and a further potential of £1000 on drink sales, but they shut shop and go home. Excellent service, and the food timely and hot, always tricky at a large event, but they pulled it together. Great stuff. The band were fabulous, lots of dancing, albeit not by me.

The receptionists are all lovely and very cheery, as I was checking out, another couple were organising their wedding bedrooms, and she was a delight to watch as she helped them. It's terrible being in the trade, you notice everything! The worst thing was the smokers area, a shed, some walk from the hotel building. Of course nobody used it, it's too far, too cold and doesn't even have a seat. The result is, cigarette butts everywhere, which could easily be avoided with nearer smoking bins, so it's a shame.

This afternoon A & D picked me up and whisked me off to The Bulls Head for the last get-together (For me) of 2017. I had exactly what I almost always have, the pate followed by the beef. And as always, it was delicious. I felt rather tired and a tad delicate, this was just the tonic. Lovely afternoon, we were there til around 4, with good people in a wonderfully Christmassy venue. Every visit here is a pleasure. Cab back with Joe.

Nana nap when I got home. No idea how I'm going to manage the rest of this week, work, packing, housework. But I'm going to have to make it happen. Leaving in 4 days. Ready or not.

My Prince

Yesterday I asked Rod to pick me up at 10.30 to collect my ironing, go to the Post Office to collect a delivery and drop me of for my nail appointment, and he said he would.

At 1am I suddenly remembered my nails were 10, not 11, and could he come at 9.30?

Instead he came over and stayed.

At 3am, when my calf popped again, and I was rolling around screaming and crying, he was the one holding me and saying, don't panic, I'm here.

Off we went this morning, parcel had not been redirected, so I asked him if he would drive to the main office whilst I had my nails done, which he did.

By sheer coincidence, on his way back, I was on a street corner waiting for a taxi, so he gave me a lift home too.

Very much my knight in shinning armour.

My calf is absolutely dire, I can walk for no more than 2-3 minutes, painfully slowly. However, I am mentally in a much better place due to his care and help.
Every year I think next year is gonna be my year. But it never was!

I did years of Rod's lying and constant infidelity. Always thinking it would change, but of course, it never did. He got older and more desperate, I got older and wiser. We are friends, and I appreciate him a great deal. I enjoy his company. But this will be the first Christmas I've spent as a singleton in 11 years, and I will wake up alone. But not thinking maybe he'll stop the performing circus he needs to travel on, so there are plusses and minuses.

I also have no firm plans for NYE, having been let down. First time ever I think!

My calf is shit-on-a-stick, and all I can think about at the moment is it's potentially ruining the Oz trip. I may take a few extra days in Adelaide, where the weather is better. If you can't move much, you may as well be somewhere sunny! But I have 3-4 more days to ponder that, possibly longer.

In 2018 I will launch myself on the dating scene. I already know there's a queue waiting for me, but I won't be taking any shite on board. The 6 month breathing space has given me time to sort out in my head, what I am looking for. Hopefully this will put most of the chaffe off.

I would still want to be somebody's something very special.

I will not tolerate lying and cheating.

I may or may not live with somebody again.

I am still sexually active!

I do still want to club and party, albeit not several times a night these days.

I'm still a perv, and looking forward to getting back in the saddle again :)

Lots more. But for now, I'd just settle for being able to walk!!!

Really am trying not to get too despondent. I try so hard, and yet get fucked over by whatever.

And BANG

This morning, as I was getting out of bed, I felt a massive bang in my right calf, like the worst cramp ever. Which I wish it had been, but unfortunately I have a torn muscle of some sort. So that's a month to four months. I can barely walk, and it's exceedingly painful.

So, that has pretty much ruined my Oz holiday. I won't be walking much, and we fly in 6 days, so it's unlikely to be significantly better by then. I am absolutely gutted, I had so many wonderful plans already made, by me, and others. I will do what I can and absolutely make the best of it of course. But it's more than a bit screwed.

Tomorrow night I am supposed to be going to an Army ball with Rod. I have my dress already, and my hair, nails and make up appointments all booked. I'll have to make a decision on that in the morning, but I hate letting people down. I'll go if I possibly can, and just sit a lot I suppose.

I have been crying most of today, and feeling very low indeed.

Lucky Lucky Lucky

So today was 100% win.

Same ole shitty commute, but I was quick on nabbing the seats.

Great lunch with a work colleague, who also did a good training sesh for me and the team.

A three course meal for £12.95 in the West End. OK, so not gourmet, but feel the value. And all perfectly edible. I've been to Andalucia a few times now, and it's great value. But now, a Korean BBQ noodle spicy shit place has opened up next door, bwahahahaha!

Venus in Fur was great. I am not going to say anything about it as I know several friends have yet to go. But I loved it. I also appreciate the seat upgrade for my entire group, even though we purchased on a discount :)

And then into Planet Hollywood for a cheeky after drink.I am old enough to remember the glorious heyday of this place, in it's original venue with John Wales and Mark Miller. Many a glory glory night. Not so now. It's grubby and touristy. A shame, but everything changes. Not unpleasant really, but not like the olden dayze.

Lovely to spend a Christmassy night out with the gang before I vamoose to Oz next week. Really enjoyed myself.

Home, to find boo has left a bloody lovely Ralph Lauren leopard print dress on my chair.

Very happy!

My Appreciations

A job I enjoy.

A roof over my head, which is gradually improving.

An ex I adore, and helps me when he can.

Two strangely behaved weirdo cats, that I love.

Foreign travel.

A bunch of lovely friends.

Parentals, although elderly, in relatively good health.

Me, with my various aches and pains, at 51, also in good health.

My dort, who is 26 tomorrow, in sound health, with a good job, and happy in her relationship.

Books to read.

An open mind.

A mad garden, with foxes, nesting robbins, field mice, frogs and gawd knows what else.

Enough clothes, shoes and accessories to keep Ebay busy.

Drive, a work ethic, a good heart, a (relatively sound) mind, and a great big powerhouse of energy.

My hope and dreams left this year. What little was left anyway. But I will find a man who loves me for what I am, as I am, and who is loyal and trustworthy. A partner in crime. A fellow journeyer. Not a pipe n slippers chap, but a chap none-the-less! Unafraid of parties, dressing up and dinners. And unafraid of me!

I am grateful xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Le Saturday!

After a fairly conspicuous comedy of errors - Taxi was late, then hit a neighbour's car, then no trains via Tottenham Hale or Stratford, then late trains, then the DLR curtailed with bus replacements.......I eventually pitched up in Greenwich. Then my taxi driver circumnavigating Blackheath 3 times whilst "getting his bearings" With a foot I could barely walk on and my collarbone poking out horribly. Oh my giddy aunt!

Quick change, and on to the party in Blackheath with Chris. Who was also late and fractious. So we had a drinkie in the bar to calm ourselves.

MEGA night. I can say no more as it was a private party, other than we skunked in the door at gone 5am.

And suffered terribly the next day. Eggs Benedict n Cranberry Juice. And coffee.

My foot is no better, my collarbone is WORSE. But what a brilliant night!

Orphans

Each year my beloved Nix does an "Orphans Christmas" for those without family, or single or whatever.

This year, I am LOVING being in Oz for Crimbo. The weather, the people I'm with, what's not to like!

But in 2018, I would like to invite those friends who are single, or without family in the UK or whatever. I would love a TRADITIONAL British Christmas!

But most importantly, to share with friends and loved ones (same thing).

Not a Happy Day, Not a Happy Chappy

Woke up this morning with both my foot and shoulder worse than ever. Such a lot of pain. Basically, I can only really walk barefoot at the moment, and my collar bone is sticking out quite a bit, with shooting pains down my arm and it hurts a lot when I try to do anything. Just getting dressed takes ages. Went to hospital, and basically, not a lot they can do, rest and painkillers. Go back if it gets worse. For what? Another £10 in taxi rides for no help, LOL!

Big issues at work, one a technical fault it appears, and the people not reading emails properly/lack of comms, for which I am being blamed. I have demonstrated that I've done my end, the rest will have to wait til Monday.

Tonight I've just stayed home in the warm, watched some TV, applied for my Oz visa and watched some TV. Not a very exciting Friday night, but it's about all I can do.

On the plus side, Chris came over last night, and we had a catch up, plus I'll be in the sunshine in just 2 weeks.